Meet The Mum Squad

“Meet the Mum Squad!”

Primary school is a big step for both children and parents, and with it comes a whole range of emotions, challenges, and joys. Meet Sophie, a primary school mum with two boys in Year 3 and Year 1, and Claire, mum to a girl in Year 2 and a boy in nursery. We asked them both to answer some questions to help you navigate through this exciting journey. Here’s what they had to say!  

Q&A

What were some of the biggest adjustments you had to make when your child/children started primary school?  

Sophie

“I would say the biggest adjustment was managing time, so being organised and planning everything they needed for school for the week ahead. I also wasn’t ready for how tired and emotional the kids would be at first. I made the mistake of scheduling activities every weekend, which left them exhausted and an emotional wreck! Now, I ensure evenings and weekends are more relaxed so they can recharge. Another big adjustment, and a real shock to the system, was the amount of admin there is from school. I started to carve out time each week to stay on top of it which massively helped. And, of course, I've never had to invest in so many arts and crafts for homework projects!" 

Claire: 

"Making sure your child feels emotionally ready and being present for them is key. My daughter, now almost 7, had longer days at nursery than in primary school, so I had to adjust by arranging after-school care and being more flexible with pick-ups. I found myself more involved with primary school than nursery and I was definitely checking in more with her teachers to provide extra emotional support as she transitioned." 

 2) How do you balance your role as a parent with other responsibilities like work, household duties, and personal time?   

Sophie: 

“I definitely don’t have this down to a T at all! I would say I don’t have any personal time and I’ve had to hire a cleaner because I can’t keep up with the household chores, mostly because their busy social lives with new friends and clubs take up all the time. Honestly, I don’t know many mums who have it down perfectly, it’s really about learning to say no, which I’m still working on!" 

Claire: 

“I don’t think I balance my responsibilities very well but you’ll probably get the same answer from most of us busy mums! I will say though, the best thing I ever did was letting my husband in more and allowing him to step up and take on more responsibilities. I actually shared a podcast with him about the mental load and everything I handle that don’t necessarily get seen like doctor’s appointments, parties, playdates, costumes for fancy dress days at school. I think often a lot of mums just get on with things and don’t talk about everything they do and I think it’s really important to lean on a partner if they are there, it definitely made my husband feel more valued. I’m overall still trying to find that balance because I’ve definitely put things on hold, like exercise. However, I have made a conscious decision this year to prioritise myself more, so I have started netball after work.” 

 3) How do you support your child’s learning at home? What challenges have you faced in this area?  

Sophie: 

"Learning at home has been really interesting because what I’ve tried to do is make it fun by incorporating games, like setting a timer for spelling tests. If I’m being honest, the internet and TV has massively helped, like fun YouTube songs for times tables. But the challenge is that they’re learning differently than we did, especially with things like multiplication. I’ll admit, I’m not the mum who does reading and homework every day, but I try to balance keeping it fun while helping them understand the material. I’m not the best role model but I think getting the right balance is really tough!” 

Claire: 

“I think as I said before, I really try and share the responsibility of learning with my husband. I also use home learning as bonding time with my daughter, we usually do 15 minutes of reading before bed which is a lovely time to catch up on her day and how she is. As she gets older and joins more clubs, I’m not sure how manageable it will be, but for now, it works well.” 

4) What values or principles do you try to instill in your child, and how do you reinforce them in daily life?  

Sophie: 

"I think many mums would agree that the main values are kindness, respect, and being aware of others. I teach the boys to accept people as they are and be sympathetic to their strengths and weaknesses. I make sure they know that not everyone will be their best friend in the world, and that's okay and to never apologise for who they are. I think kindness, thoughtfulness and manners go a long way.” 

Claire: 

"I always encourage my kids to be kind, thoughtful, and non-judgmental of others. A big one I encourage is to not be afraid of failure, failing is just learning and to really celebrate their uniqueness and strengths. For example, my daughter is the tallest in her class so we celebrate that as it’s special and unique to her. I try to lead by example and be the best version of myself by leading with the right values. I do silly things like once a week we do a ‘mistakes club’ where we celebrate and laugh about her mistakes and talk about what she learned from herself. I also encourage her to do nice things for others. For example, we always stop and chat to an elderly man in a wheelchair on our way to school and pick up anything from the shops he might need, so she is seeing me role modelling those attitudes and is involved in it too. We are also reading a book called The Big Life Journal, which focuses on growth mindset and building resilience so all of this helps with her values and guiding principles." 

5) If you could give advice to a parent whose child is about to start primary school, what would it be? 

Sophie: 

“Number one: don’t beat yourself up when you can’t be everything. I think a lot of mums' stress when their child isn’t involved in every activity at school, but I think it’s important to remember you’re not the only parent who misses things so just embrace the school life as best you can. I was very apprehensive about it all to begin with but someone said to me to just be as sociable as you can because the more social you are as a parent, the more likely your child will settle in quicker so that’s what I did and we ended up with some phenomenal friends. It’s funny because it’s not just about your kids starting school, it’s also about you starting school again and making new friends. Another big tip I’d say is don’t be afraid to ask questions as you don’t navigate everything for yourself and that’s what the WhatsApp groups and teachers are there for. It’s a big change for your kids so just give yourself and them time to adjust as it’s not easy. And most importantly, enjoy it as they’re only young once so enjoy those times because before you know it they’ll be off to secondary school and won’t need you as much.” 

Claire: 

“I think my advice would be to give yourself the time and space to be emotionally available when they start primary school. My little girl really struggled to settle in when she started school, so I really needed to be there for her more than ever. I think also to just be kind to yourself and carve out the time to celebrate how far you’ve come as a mum and how well you’re doing, I think that’s important.”